우리가 하는 일의 이유 | TED 강연 | 토니 로빈스 :: ChatGPT 정리

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Why We Do What We Do | TED Talks | Tony Robbins
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwFOwyoH-3g 

 

 

[ 요약 ]

우리는 모두 뛰어난 두뇌를 가지고 있으며, 이를 활용하여 어떤 것이든 실현할 수 있습니다. 그러나 우리는 때로는 자신의 이익보다 감정에 따라 행동하기도 하며, 이를 극복하기 위해 서로 이해하고 감사하는 연결을 만들어야 할 때도 있습니다. 다른 사람을 이해하고 연결하는 두 가지 방법은 마스터 레슨, 즉 성취의 과학과 기여와 충족의 예술입니다.

성취의 과학은 쉽게 이해할 수 있는 규칙을 따르는 것인 반면 기여와 충족의 예술은 감사와 기여를 통해 이루어지는 것입니다. 우리는 자신의 과거에 대해 생각하지 않고, 결정의 힘을 믿는 것이 중요합니다. 이를 통해 인생에서 이루고자 하는 것을 더 쉽게 달성할 수 있습니다. 여러분은 자신의 인생에서 이루고자 하는 것을 생각하며, 감사와 기여를 중요시하며, 결정의 힘을 믿어 자신의 삶을 더욱 더 풍요롭게 만들어 나가길 바랍니다.

자신 또는 파트너가 목표를 이루지 못했을 때, 부족한 리소스를 이유로 꼽는 것이 일반적입니다. 그러나, 리소스가 부족한 것이 가장 중요한 것은 아닙니다. 오히려 감정으로 인해 막히는 경우가 많이 있습니다. 올바른 감정을 가지고 있다면 우리는 무엇이든 할 수 있습니다. 창의력과 결단력이 있다면 돈이 없어도 방법을 찾아갈 수 있습니다. 이것이 최종 리소스이지만, 대부분은 리소스 부족을 이유로 목표를 이루지 못한다고 합니다. 하지만, 우리는 세 가지 결정으로 우리의 운명을 결정합니다. 이 결정이 우리의 리소스를 결정합니다. 따라서, 우리는 리소스풀하게 살면서 목표를 이루기 위해 올바른 결정을 내릴 필요가 있습니다.

우리가 올바른 결정을 내리기 위해서는 이미 영향을 받고 있는 것을 알아야 하며, 이것은 우리의 타겟, 믿음 체계, 연료로 이루어져 있습니다. 우리에겐 6가지 인간적인 필요가 있으며, 이것은 보장, 불확실성, 사랑 및 소속, 중요성, 성장 및 기여, 변화와 연관되어 있습니다. 따라서, 우리는 이러한 필요성을 충족시켜주는 것을 찾는 것이 중요하며, 이러한 필요를 충족시키는 방법으로 통제, 기술 개발, 희생 등이 있습니다.

우리는 변화와 놀라움을 필요로 하며, 변화와 놀라움은 우리에게 중요성을 느끼게 합니다. 또한, 우리는 연결과 사랑이 필요합니다. 서로를 사랑하고 연결되어 있는 것이 중요한 것을 기억하기 바랍니다. 

6가지 필요에 대해 이야기 하겠습니다. 4가지는 인격의 필요성, 나머지 2가지는 영적인 필요성입니다. 인격의 필요성은 개인이 누구인지를 인식하고, 대처하는 방법을 찾는 것입니다. 영적인 필요성은 성장과 공헌입니다. 이러한 필요성을 충족시키기 위해 우리는 성장하고, 가치 있는 것을 내놓아야 합니다. 우리는 우리 주변의 사람들에게도 공헌해야 합니다.

자신의 삶과 태도를 돌아보며, 동시에 다른 사람들과 함께 더 나은 세상을 만들기 위해 노력해보는 계기가 되었으면 합니다.

 

 

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[ 한글 전체 ]

먼저, 이 자리에 함께할 수 있는 영광을 주신 여러분께 감사의 말씀을 드립니다.
이 자리에 참석해주신 모든 분들께 감사드립니다.
과거에 테드에 참석했던 친구들이 있어서 참석할까 고민하다가
고민하던 중 초대를 받고 참석하고 싶다고 말했죠.
그래서 저는 이 행사의 3분의 2 정도에 참석했고 연사들뿐만 아니라
연사들뿐만 아니라 제가 만난 많은 사람들로부터도요.
제가 연설하거나 주변을 둘러본 모든 장소 중에서
여러분도 경험하셨겠지만, 재능과 두뇌, 그리고
재능과 두뇌뿐만 아니라 열정과 공통의 가치관을 가진 사람들을요.
여기에는 기여에 대한 커뮤니티가 있고 그것은 정말 아름답습니다.
그래서 감사합니다.
저는 앞으로도 지속적으로 참여자로 돌아올 것이며, 모든 분들께 감사드립니다.
참여해주신 모든 분들께도 감사드립니다.
감사합니다.
솔직히 말씀드리자면 저는 도전과 설렘을 동시에 느낍니다.
무언가를 돌려줄 수 있는 기회를 얻게 되어 기쁩니다.
제가 도전하는 것은 제가 보통 하는 가장 짧은 세미나가 50시간이라는 점입니다.
과장이 아니에요.
주말에는 그보다 훨씬 더 많은 시간을 사람들을 코칭하는 데 할애합니다.
언어를 어떻게 배우셨나요?
원리를 배우는 것만으로는 배울 수 없죠.
그 안에 들어가서 너무 자주 하다 보니 실제가 되어버렸고, 저는 미리 프로그래밍된 것이 아닙니다.
방에서 무슨 일이 일어나면
저는 질문을 합니다.
저는 거기서 일어나는 일을 17분 동안 연기하는데, 그런 일은 일어나지 않아요.
나는 우리가 원칙을 전달할 것이라는 것을 알고 있으며 형식을 존중하는 것 이상입니다.
리사 랜달이 18분 안에 아인슈타인의 이론을
아인슈타인의 이론을 18분 안에 설명하는 것이 매우 힘들었습니다.
그래도 제가 정말 봉사하러 왔기 때문에 여러분에게 서비스를 제공하려면
상자에 테이프를 넣었지만 인터넷 시간을 사용하고 싶다면 아니오라고 부릅니다.
이러한 것들을 배우고 더 깊은 수준에서 사용할 수있는 추가 시간, 내 사무실에 전화하면
사무실에 전화하면 TED 출신이고 목록에 있으면 제가 가지고있는 모든 제품을받을 수 있습니다.
비용은 무료입니다.
세미나에 참석하시는 분이라면 제 게스트로 초대해서
더 깊이.
그럼 제 선물은 여기까지입니다.
감사합니다.
고마워요
이제 레이스가 시작됩니다.
여러분을 섬기고 싶어서 여기에 많은 것을 넣었을 것입니다.
우리가 같은 수준에서 상호작용을 할 수 없기 때문에 철학처럼 들리지 않기를 바랍니다,
저와 함께 조금만 참여해주셨으면 좋겠습니다.
제가 여기 온 이유의 결론은 제가 정말로 동기를 부여하기 위해 온 것이 아니라
동기를 부여하기 위해서가 아닙니다.
그럴 필요는 없습니다.
많은 경우 사람들은 제가 그런 일을 한다고 생각하지만 저는 그런 일과는 거리가 멀죠.
하지만 사람들이 저에게 동기 부여가 필요 없다고 말하면 저는 이렇게 말합니다,
흥미롭네요.
저는 그런 일을 하지 않아요.
저는 이유를 찾는 사람입니다.
왜 당신이 하는 일을 하는지 모르겠어요.
행동의 동기는 무엇인가요?
오늘날 여러분의 삶을 이끄는 원동력은 무엇인가요?
10년 전과 다르나요, 아니면 같은 패턴을 반복하고 있나요?
저는 내면에서 일어나는 보이지 않는 힘이 세상에서 가장 중요하다고 믿기 때문입니다.
가장 중요하다고 믿기 때문입니다.
저는 감정이 삶의 힘이라고 믿기 때문에 이 자리에 모였습니다.
여기 있는 우리 모두는 위대한 마음을 가지고 있습니다.
여기 있는 우리 대부분은 훌륭한 마음을 가지고 있습니다.
제가 여기에 속하는지는 모르겠지만, 우리 모두는 생각하는 법을 알고 있습니다.
우리는 무엇이든 합리화할 수 있고 무엇이든 실현할 수 있습니다.
며칠 전에 설명한 내용에 동의하지만, 사람들이 자기 이익을 위해 일한다는 생각은
자기 이익을 위해 일한다는 생각.
하지만 사람이 항상 자기 이익을 위해 일하는 것은 아니라는 것을 우리 모두는 알고 있습니다.
감정이 개입되면 배선이 작동하는 방식이 바뀌기 때문입니다.
그래서 세상의 삶이 어떻게 돌아가는지 지적으로 생각하는 것은 멋진 일이며, 특히 아주 똑똑한 사람들은
특히 아주 똑똑한 사람들에게요.
머릿속으로 이 게임을 할 수도 있지만, 무엇이 여러분을 움직이게 하는지 정말 알고 싶습니다.
이 강연이 끝날 때까지 여러분을 초대하고 싶은 것은 여러분이 현재 어디에 있는지 살펴보는 것입니다.
두 가지 이유 때문입니다.
첫째는 여러분이 더 많은 기여를 할 수 있도록 하기 위해서입니다.
둘째, 다른 사람들을 더 이해할 수 있을 뿐만 아니라 더 감사할 수 있도록
더 감사하고 오늘날 우리 사회가 직면한 여러 문제를 해결할 수 있는
멈출 수 있는 종류의 연결을 만들 수 있기를 바랍니다.
이러한 연결은 우리를 연결하는 바로 그 기술에 의해 더욱 확대될 것입니다. 
왜냐하면 그것은 우리를 교차하게 만들기 때문입니다.
그리고 그 교차점이 항상 모든 사람이 모든 사람을 이해하고
모두가 서로를 인정하는 모습을 만들어내지는 못하죠.
그래서 저는 기본적으로 30년 동안 집착을 해왔습니다.
그리고 그 집착은 사람들의 삶의 질에 차이를 만드는 것이었습니다.
성과에 차이를 만드는 것, 그것이 제가 고용된 이유이기 때문입니다.
이제 결과를 만들어야 합니다.
그것이 제가 30년 동안 해온 일입니다.
전국 방송에서 선수가 불타고 있을 때 전화를 받으면 5타 차로 앞서고 있었는데
5타 차로 앞서고 있었는데 이제 다시 코스로 돌아갈 수 없다는 전화를 받았어요.
결과를 얻기 위해 지금 당장 무언가를 해야 하는데 그 어떤 것도 중요하지 않습니다.
아이가 자살하려고 한다는 전화를 받으면 뭔가 조치를 취해야 합니다.
지금 당장요.
그리고 29년 동안 단 한 명도 잃지 않았다는 사실에 정말 감사하게 생각합니다.
언젠가 안 할 거라는 뜻은 아니지만 아직까지 한 번도 안 했어요.
그 이유는 제가 여러분과 이야기하고 싶은 인간의 욕구에 대한 이해 때문입니다.
그래서 성과에 대한 문의 전화를 받으면 어떻게 하면 변화를 일으킬 수 있을까요?
하지만 그 사람이 기여할 수 있는 능력을 형성하는 것이 무엇인지도 살펴봅니다,
기여하는 능력을 형성하는 것이 무엇인지 살펴봅니다.
그래서 진짜 질문은 어쩌면 인생을 바라볼 때 두 가지 마스터가 있다고 말하는 것일 수도 있습니다.
교훈이 있다고 생각합니다.
하나는 성취의 과학인데, 이 방에 있는 거의 모든 사람이 이 과학을 마스터하고 있습니다.
놀라운 정도로요.
보이지 않는 것을 어떻게 눈에 보이게 만들 수 있을까요?
비즈니스든, 사회 공헌이든, 돈이든, 무엇이든 간에 여러분이 꿈꾸는 것을 어떻게 실현할 수 있을까요?
사회 공헌, 돈, 몸, 가족을 위한 것이 무엇이든 간에요.
하지만 인생의 또 다른 교훈은 거의 습득하지 못하는 성취의 기술입니다.
과학은 쉽기 때문이죠?
우리는 규칙을 알고 있습니다.
코드를 작성하고
그 규칙을 따르면 됩니다.
그리고 결과를 얻습니다.
일단 게임을 알고 나면, 그다음에는 그냥 더 열심히 하면 되죠?
하지만 성취에 관해서는 예술입니다.
그 이유는 감사와 기여에 관한 것이기 때문입니다.
혼자서는 많은 것을 느낄 수 없습니다.
그래서 저는 흥미로운 실험을 통해 진짜 질문에 대한 답을 찾으려고 했습니다,
당신이 모든 걸 바친 그런 사람들을 보면 다른 사람의 삶이 어떻게 달라질까요?
어떤 차이가 있을까요?
그들이 필요하다고 말하는 모든 자원처럼요.
여러분은 그들에게 100달러짜리 컴퓨터를 준 것이 아니라 최고의 컴퓨터를 준 것입니다.
당신은 그들에게 사랑을 주었습니다.
기쁨을 주었습니다.
당신은 그들을 위로하기 위해 거기에있었습니다.
그리고 그 사람들은 종종, 그리고 여러분도 알다시피, 그들 중 일부는 남은 인생을
사랑, 교육, 돈, 배경을 모두 잃고 재활원을 들락거리면서
재활원을 들락날락하면서요.
그리고 당신은 심리적, 성적, 영적, 정서적 학대,
영적, 정서적 학대를 당하고 항상 그런 것은 아니지만 종종 그들은 사회에 가장 많이 기여하는
사회에 가장 큰 기여를 하는 사람들이 되기도 합니다.
그렇다면 우리가 스스로에게 던져야 할 질문은 무엇일까요?
우리를 형성하는 것은 무엇일까요?
그리고 우리는 치료 문화에 살고 있습니다.
우리 대부분은 그렇게 하지 않지만 그 문화는 치료 문화이며 제가 의미하는 바는
우리가 우리의 과거라는 마음가짐입니다.
이 방에 있는 여러분 모두 그 이론을 믿었다면 이 방에 있지 않았을 겁니다.
대부분의 사회는 과거가 운명이라고 생각합니다.
과거는 미래와 같습니다.
물론 여러분이 그곳에 살고 있다면 그렇습니다.
하지만 이 방에 있는 사람들이 알고 있는 것, 그리고 우리가 스스로에게 상기시켜야 하는 것은
지적으로 무언가를 알 수 있습니다.
무엇을 해야 하는지 알면서도 그것을 사용하지 않고 적용하지 않을 수도 있습니다.
따라서 우리가 스스로에게 상기시켜야 할 것은 결단이 궁극적인 힘이라는 것입니다.
그것이 바로 진정한 힘입니다.
이제 사람들에게 무언가를 성취하는 데 실패한 적이 있나요?
인생에서 중요한 일을 성취하는 데 실패한 적이 있나요?
그렇다고 대답하세요.
높은 수준의 상호작용을 해주셔서 감사합니다.
하지만 사람들에게 왜 무언가를 이루지 못했냐고 물어본다면 어떨까요?
함께 일하는 사람이나 파트너, 심지어 나 자신도 목표를 달성하지 못했을 때
목표를 달성하지 못했을 때 사람들은 어떤 이유로 실패했다고 말하나요?
그들은 당신에게 뭐라고 말하나요?
말해 보세요.
큰 소리로 말해 보세요.
지식이 부족해서, 지식이 없어서, 돈이 없어서, 시간이 없어서,
기술도 없었고, 적절한 관리자도 없었고, 대법원도 없었습니다.
대법원.
대법원을 포함한 모든 이들의 공통점은 무엇일까요?
바로 리소스가 부족하다는 것, 그리고 그것이 정확할 수도 있다는 것입니다.
돈이 없을 수도 있고 대법원이 없을 수도 있지만 그것이 결정적인 요소는 아닙니다.
결정적인 요소는 아닙니다.
그리고 제가 틀렸다면 바로잡아 주세요.
결정적인 요소는 결코 자원이 아니라 수완이며, 제가 구체적으로 의미하는 것은
어떤 문구보다는 감정이 있느냐, 인간적인 감정이 있느냐가 더 중요하죠.
내가 경험해본 것 중 가장 심오한 수준의 감정과
그 감정으로 소통했다면 당신이 이기지 못했을 거라고 생각합니다.
하지만 내가 그에게 어떻게해야하는지 말하기가 얼마나 쉬운 지, 바보 로빈스, 하지만 우리가 토론을 보았을 때
토론을 봤을 때, 그 당시 토론을 봤을 때, 사람들이 이 남자의 정보를 얻는 능력을
이 사람의 지성과 능력, 그리고 어떤 사람들에게는
그 날에.
왜냐하면 나는 당신의 방향으로 투표하기를 원했지만 그렇게하지 않은 사람들을 알고 있기 때문에 화가났습니다.
하지만 거기에는 감정이 있었어요.
제가 무슨 말을 하는지 아시는 분이 몇 분이나 되시나요?
그래서 감정이 들어가고 올바른 감정을 얻으면 우리는 무엇이든 할 수 있습니다,
이겨낼 수 있습니다.
충분히 창의적이고, 충분히 장난스럽고, 충분히 재미있다면 누구에게나 다가갈 수 있을까요?
예, 아니오?
돈은 없지만 창의력과 결단력이 충분하다면 길을 찾을 수 있습니다.
그래서 이것은 궁극적인 자원이지만 사람들이 우리에게 들려주는 이야기는 그렇지 않습니다.
사람들이 우리에게 들려주는 이야기는 다양한 이야기입니다.
사람들은 우리에게 리소스가 없다고 말하지만 궁극적으로 여기를 보시면 뒤집어서
그들이 오지 않은 이유는 무엇일까요?
우리는 그렇게 말했습니다.
다음 질문 부탁합니다.
제 패턴을 깼어요.
하지만 에너지가 좋았어요, 그건 확실해요.
자원을 결정하는 것은 우리가 말한 결정된 운명이라고 했죠.
여기.
결정형 운명, 그것을 결정하는 것은 세 가지 결정입니다.
무엇에 집중할 것인가요?
지금 당장 무엇에 집중할 것인지 결정해야 합니다.
지금 이 순간, 의식적이든 무의식적이든 무언가에 집중하기로 결정하는 순간,
거기에 의미를 부여해야 합니다.
그리고 그 의미가 무엇이든 감정을 불러일으킵니다.
이것이 끝인가, 시작인가?
신이 나를 벌하는 것인가, 보상하는 것인가, 아니면 주사위의 역할인가?
그런 다음 감정이 우리가 할 일이나 행동을 만들어냅니다. 
그러니 자신의 삶과 운명을 결정한 결정에 대해 생각해 보세요.
정말 무겁게 들리지만 지난 5년, 10년, 15년 동안 다른 결정을 내렸다면 인생이 달라졌을 거라고
다른 결정을 내렸다면 인생이 완전히 달라졌을 것 같은 결정이 있었나요?
생각나는 분이 몇 분이나 되시나요?
솔직히 더 좋았나요, 나빴나요?
네, 그렇습니다.
결론부터 말씀드리자면, 아마도 직장을 선택했고 그곳에서 인생의 반려자를 만났을 것입니다.
인생의 사랑을 만났을 수도 있고
진로에 대한 결정이었을 수도 있죠.
저는 여기서 만난 구글 천재들을 잘 알고 있습니다.
그들이 처음에 내린 결정이 기술을 팔기로 한 것은 이해합니다.
만약 그들이 자신들만의 문화를 구축하는 대신 그런 결정을 내렸다면 어땠을까요?
세상은 어떻게 달라졌을까요?
그들의 삶은 어떻게 달라졌을까요?
그들의 영향력.
우리 세계의 역사는 바로 이러한 결정입니다.
한 여성이 일어서서 버스 뒷좌석에 앉지 않겠다고 말했을 때, 그 여성은 단순히 자신의 삶에
그녀의 삶에 영향을 미쳤습니다.
그 결정은 우리 문화에 영향을 미쳤고, 탱크 앞에 서 있는 사람이나 랜스 암스트롱이나
랜스 암스트롱처럼 고환암에 걸렸다는 말을 듣는다면요.
특히 자전거를 타는 남성이라면 더더욱 힘든 일이죠.
뇌와 폐에 암이 생겼지만 그의 결정은 무엇이며 무엇에
무엇에 집중할까요?
대부분의 사람들과는 달랐습니다.
무슨 뜻이었나요?
끝이 아니었죠.
시작이었죠.
어떻게 할 건가요?
암에 걸리기 전에는 한 번도 원하지 않았던 7번의 우승을 차지했잖아요
체력, 정신력
그게 제가 만난 300만 명 중 가장 큰 인간 차이예요
제 실험실에 관한 것이기 때문입니다.
지난 29년 동안 80개국에서 온 3백만 명의 사람들과 교류할 기회를 가졌습니다.
80개국에서 온 3백만 명입니다.
시간이 지나면 패턴이 분명해집니다.
남미와 아프리카가 특정 방식으로 연결되어 있다는 것을 알 수 있죠?
다른 사람들은 말도 안 되는 소리라고 말하죠.
간단하죠.
랜스, 당신은 어떤 모양이죠?
두 개의 보이지 않는 힘.
아주 빠르게, 하나의 상태.
우리 모두 그런 때가 있었어요.
어떤 일을 하고 나서 혼자 생각한 적 있죠?
내가 그런 말을 하다니.
내가 그런 짓을 했다는 게 믿기지 않아요.
정말 어리석은 짓이었어요.
누가 그런 적이 있나요?
저요.
한 짓을 하고 나서 후회해 본 적 있어?
그게 나였지?
네 능력이 아니었어
네 상태였지
그건 빨리 바꿀 수 있어야 하지만 여기서 빨리 끝내고 싶은 것은
당신의 세계관이 장기적으로 당신을 형성한다는 것입니다.
당신의 세상 모델은 필터입니다. 
그것이 우리를 형성하는 것입니다.
그것이 사람들이 결정을 내리는 이유입니다.
우리는 누군가에게 영향을 미치고 싶습니다.
우리는 이미 그들에게 영향을 미치는 것이 무엇인지 알아야 합니다.
그리고 그것은 세 부분으로 구성되어 있다고 생각합니다.
첫째, 당신의 목표는 무엇인가요?
무엇을 추구하나요?
저는 그것이 당신의 욕망이 아니라고 생각합니다.
욕망은 목표가 될 수 있습니다.
목표나 욕망을 가지고 있으면서 '이게 전부인가'라고 생각한 사람이 얼마나 될까요?
얼마나 많은 사람들이 거기에 있었습니까?
저요.
그래서 우리가 가진 것은 욕구입니다.
저는 인간의 욕구에는 여섯 가지가 있다고 생각합니다.
둘째, 일단 당신을 움직이는 목표가 무엇인지 알고 진실을 위해 그것을 발견하면
진실을 발견하면, 당신은 그것을 형성하지 않습니다.
그것을 발견하는 것입니다.
그런 다음 지도가 무엇인지 알아냅니다.
이러한 욕구를 충족하는 방법을 알려주는 신념 체계는 무엇인가요?
어떤 사람들은 욕구를 충족하는 방법이 세상을 파괴하는 것이라고 생각합니다.
어떤 사람들은 무언가를 만들어야 한다고 생각합니다.
무언가를 창조하세요.
누군가를 사랑하세요.
그리고 여러분이 선택하는 연료가 있습니다.
아주 빠르게, 여섯 가지 욕구가 있습니다.
그것들이 무엇인지 말씀드리겠습니다.
첫 번째, 확실성.
이것은 목표나 욕구가 아닙니다.
이것은 보편적인 것입니다.
누구나 고통을 피할 수 있고 최소한 편안할 수 있다는 확신이 필요합니다.
그럼 어떻게 얻을 수 있을까요?
모두를 통제하세요.
기술을 개발하세요.
포기하세요.
담배를 피워보세요.
그리고 만약 당신이 완전히 확신한다면, 아이러니하게도 우리 모두에게 그게 필요하지만
건강이나 자녀, 돈에 대해 확신하지 못하면 많은 생각을 하지 않죠.
그래서 천장이 견딜 수 있을지 확신이 서지 않으면 아무 연사나 듣게 되죠.
하지만 사람마다 확신을 얻는 방식은 다르지만, 완전히 확신을 얻는다면 무엇을 얻게 될까요?
확신이 들면 어떤 느낌이 드나요?
무슨 일이 일어날까요?
언제 일어날까요?
어떻게 일어날까요?
어떤 기분이 들까요?
지루하겠지
그래서 신은 무한한 지혜로 우리에게 두 번째 인간의 욕구인 불확실성을 주셨습니다.
우리는 다양성이 필요합니다.
놀라움이 필요합니다.
여기 계신 분들 중 놀라움을 좋아하는 분이 얼마나 되나요?
저요
당신은 당신이 원하는 놀라움을 좋아합니다.
원하지 않는 서프라이즈는 문제라고 부르지만 꼭 필요한 것이죠.
그래서 다양성이 중요합니다.
이미 본 비디오나 영화를 다시 빌려 본 적이 있나요?
누가 그랬나요?
왜 그렇게 하나요?
예전에 읽었고 예전에 봤기 때문에 좋은 영화일 거라고 확신하지만
너무 오래되어서 다양성이 있는지 잊어 버렸습니다.
세 번째 인간의 욕구, 중요성, 중요성.
우리 모두는 자신이 중요하고 특별하며 독특하다고 느낄 필요가 있습니다.
더 많은 돈을 벌어서 얻을 수 있습니다.
더 영적으로 성장함으로써 얻을 수 있습니다.
사람들이 보기 싫은 곳에 문신과 귀걸이를 더 많이 하고
더 많은 문신과 귀걸이를 할 수 있습니다.
배경도 없고, 문화도 없고, 자원이나 수완에 대한 믿음이나
자원이나 수완에 대한 믿음이 없다면 가장 빠른 방법은 폭력입니다.
내가 당신 머리에 총을 겨누고 후드에 살면 순식간에 나는 0에서 열까지
0에서 10까지, 내가 어떻게, 10.
나와 당신이 나에게 얼마나 확실하게 반응할까요, 10점?
얼마나 불확실합니까?
다음에 무슨 일이 일어날지 누가 알겠어요?
흥미진진하네요.
동굴에 올라가서 그 아래까지 내려가는 것 같죠.
그리고 불확실성.
그리고 그것은 중요하지 않나요?
그래서 기꺼이 목숨을 걸고 도전하는 거군요. 
그렇기 때문에 폭력은 항상 우리 주변에 존재해 왔고 앞으로도 존재할 것입니다.
우리는 한 종으로서 의식이 변화했습니다.
이제 수백만 가지 방법으로 의미를 부여할 수 있지만, 의미 있는 사람이 되려면 독특하고
독특해야 합니다.
우리에게 정말 필요한 것은 바로 이것입니다.
연결과 사랑입니다.
네 번째 필요.
우리 모두는 사랑을 원합니다.
대부분의 사람들은 사랑이 너무 무섭기 때문에 연결에 안주합니다.
상처받고 싶지 않기 때문입니다.
친밀한 관계에서 상처받은 적이 있는 분 있나요?
저요.
그리고 여러분은 또 상처받을 텐데, 이 긍정적인 방문에 오길 잘한 것 같지 않나요?
하지만 여기에 진실이 있습니다.
우리는 친밀감이 필요합니다.
친밀감을 통해, 우정을 통해, 기도를 통해, 자연 속을 걷는 것을 통해 우리는 할 수 있습니다.
다른 방법이 없다면 개를 키우세요.
고양이를 키우지 말고 개를 키우세요.
2분 동안 자리를 비우면 6개월 동안 자리를 비운 것과 같으니까요.
5분 후에 다시 돌아와야 하는데 6개월 동안 자리를 비운 것과 마찬가지니까요.
이 네 가지 욕구는 모든 사람이 충족할 수 있는 방법을 찾습니다.
자신에게 거짓말을 하더라도 인격을 분리해야 합니다.
하지만 마지막 두 가지 욕구, 처음 네 가지 욕구를 인격의 욕구라고 부르는 것은
제가 부르는 거죠.
마지막 두 가지 욕구는 영의 욕구입니다.
그리고 이것이 성취가 오는 곳입니다.
처음 네 가지 욕구로는 만족을 얻을 수 없습니다.
담배를 피우고, 술을 마시고, 뭐든지 해서 앞의 네 가지를 충족시킬 방법을 찾게 될 것입니다.
하지만 마지막 두 번째, 다섯 번째는 반드시 성장해야 합니다.
우리 모두는 여기에 대한 답을 알고 있습니다.
성장하지 않으면 어떻게 되나요?
관계가 성장하지 않는다면, 비즈니스가 성장하지 않는다면, 여러분이 성장하지 않는다면, 여러분은
성장하지 않습니다.
돈이 얼마나 많은지, 친구가 얼마나 많은지, 나를 사랑하는 사람이 얼마나 많은지는 중요하지 않습니다.
지옥 같은 기분이 들죠.
우리가 성장하는 이유는 가치 있는 무언가를 제공하기 위해서라고 생각합니다.
여섯 번째 필요는 우리 자신을 넘어서 기여하는 것입니다.
진부하게 들릴지 모르지만 우리 모두는 삶의 비결이 베푸는 것임을 알고 있기 때문입니다.
인생은 '나'를 위한 것이 아니라 '우리'를 위한 것이라는 것을 우리 모두는 알고 있습니다.
이 문화는 그것을 알고 있습니다.
이 방은 그것을 알고 있습니다.
그리고 그것은 흥미롭습니다.
니콜라스가 100달러짜리 컴퓨터에 대해 이야기하는 것을 보면 가장 열정적이고 흥미진진한 것은
이 천재는 이제 소명을 가지고 있습니다.
그의 차이를 느낄 수 있고 그것은 아름답습니다.
백홀링은 제 인생에서 다른 사람들에게 감동을 줄 수 있습니다.
제 인생에 감동을 준 건 11살 때 추수감사절에 돈도 없고 먹을 것도 없었어요,
굶지는 않겠지만 아버지는 완전히 엉망이셨어요.
어머니는 아버지가 얼마나 엉망인지 알려주고 계셨죠.
그리고 누군가 문 앞에 와서 음식을 배달해줬어요.
아버지는 세 가지 결정을 내리셨어요.
그 결정이 무엇인지 간략히 기억합니다.
아버지의 초점은 '자선'이었어요
무슨 뜻이죠?
난 쓸모없어
내가 뭘 해야 하죠?
가족을 떠나는 거죠.
인생에서 가장 고통스러운 순간이죠.
세 번의 결정은 저에게 다른 길을 제시했습니다.
첫 번째는 콘셉트가 있는 음식에 집중하고, 두 번째는 제 인생을 바꾼 결정이었죠.
이것이 저를 한 인간으로 만들어준 것이죠.
누군가의 선물.
누군지도 모르겠어요.
우리 가족에게 음식을 주고, 우리를 돌봐주고, 이런 걸 요구하지 않아요.
그렇게 믿게 됐어요.
낯선 사람들이 관심을 가져준다는 건 무슨 의미일까요?
그래서 제가 결심하게 된 것은 낯선 사람들이 저와 제 가족을 걱정한다는 것입니다.
저도 가족을 아끼고요.
제가 뭘 해야 할까요?
변화를 만들기 위해 무언가를 해야겠다고요.
그래서 17살 때 추수감사절에 어느 날 외출을 했는데, 그게 몇 년 동안 제 목표였어요.
두 가족을 먹여 살릴 수 있을 만큼의 돈을 버는 것이었죠.
제 인생에서 가장 재미있고 감동적인 일이었죠.
그리고 내년에는 네 번을 했어요.
제가 뭘 하는지 아무에게도 말하지 않았어요.
내년에는 8번을 했어요
브라우니 포인트를 받으려고 한 건 아니었지만 8번을 하고 나니 도움이 필요할 것 같았어요.
그래서 당연히 나가서 뭘 했나요?
친구들을 참여시키고 회사를 키웠고 11개의 회사를 얻었고 재단을 만들었습니다.
18년이 지난 지금, 자랑스럽게도 작년에 재단을 통해 35개국 200만 명에게 음식을 제공했습니다.
재단을 통해 추수감사절, 크리스마스, 그리고 전 세계 35개국의
전 세계 35개국에서요.
정말 환상적이었습니다.
감사합니다.
자랑하려고 하는 말이 아니라 인간이 자랑스럽기 때문에 하는 말입니다.
사람들이 직접 경험하고 나서야 기꺼이 기부에 참여하기 때문입니다.
그것에 대해.
마지막으로, 여러분을 형성하는 목표인 사람에 대한 다른 점은 다음과 같습니다.
사람에 대한 것입니다.
우리는 같은 욕구를 가지고 있지만 당신은 확신에 집착하나요? 
가장 중요하게 여기는 것이 불확실성인가요?
여기 이 남자는 저 망토를 입고 올라간다면 확실성 덕후가 아닐 수 없습니다.
당신은 중요성에 의해 움직이나요, 아니면 사랑에 의해 움직이나요?
우리 모두는 이 여섯 가지를 모두 필요로 하지만, 당신의 리드 시스템이 무엇이든 간에 당신을 다른 방향으로 기울게 합니다.
그리고 한 방향으로 나아갈 때 목적지 또는 운명이 있습니다.
두 번째 요소는 지도입니다.
운영 체제가 목적지까지 가는 방법을 알려주는 지도라고 생각하면 됩니다.
다른 사람을 위해 죽더라도 생명을 구하는 것이 소방관인 사람이 있다면
다른 누군가는 그것을 위해 사람들을 죽일 거라고 말합니다.
둘 다 같은 의미의 욕구를 충족시키려고 노력하는 거죠?
그들은 신을 공경하거나 가족을 공경하고 싶어하지만 다른 지도를 가지고 있습니다.
그리고 일곱 가지 신념이 있는데, 내가 끝났기 때문에 그것을 통과할 수 없습니다.
마지막은 감정입니다.
저는 지도의 한 부분이 시간과 같다고 말합니다.
어떤 사람들은 긴 시간을 100년이라고 생각하죠.
다른 누군가는 3초라고 말하는데, 저는 3초라고 생각해요.
그리고 아까도 말씀드렸지만, 여러분을 느꼈습니다.
목표가 있고 지도가 있는데, 제가 맥을 좋아해서 구글을 사용할 수 없다고 가정해 봅시다.
Mac을 좋아하고 아직 Mac 용으로 만들지 않았기 때문입니다.
MapQuest를 사용하시는 분들 중 얼마나 많은 분들이 이런 치명적인 실수를 한 적이
사용하신 적이 있으신가요?
이걸 사용했는데 목적지에 도달하지 못했죠.
여러분의 신념 때문에 원하는 목적지에 절대 갈 수 없다고 상상해 보세요.
마지막으로 감정이죠.
이제 감정에 대해 말씀드리겠습니다.
영어에는 6,000개의 감정에 대한 단어가 있습니다.
언어적 표현일 뿐이죠?
언어에 따라 달라지죠.
하지만 지배적인 감정이라면 시간이 많으면 2만 명, 적으면 1천 명입니다.
그리고 평균 일주일 동안 경험하는 모든 감정을 적으라고 합니다.
그리고 필요한 만큼 시간을 주죠.
한쪽은 감정을 강화하는 쪽이고 다른 한쪽은 감정을 약화시키는 쪽입니다.
사람들이 얼마나 많은 감정을 경험할까요?
12개 미만입니다.
그리고 그 중 절반은 다음과 같은 느낌을 줍니다.
그러니까 좋은 감정은 대여섯 개뿐이죠?
행복, 행복, 흥분, 좌절, 좌절, 압도감, 우울 등의 감정을 느끼는 거죠.
여러분 중 무슨 일이 있어도 화를 낼 방법을 찾는 사람을 아는 사람이 몇 명이나 있나요?
이런 사람을 아는 분이 얼마나 되나요?
또는 무슨 일이 있어도, 무슨 일이 있어도 행복하거나 흥분할 방법을 찾습니다.
이런 사람을 아는 사람이 얼마나 될까요?
이봐요
911 테러가 일어났을 때 저는 하와이에 있었어요.
45개국에서 온 2,000명의 사람들과 함께 4개 국어를 동시에 통역하고 있었어요.
4개 국어를 동시에 통역하고 있었죠.
전날 밤은 감정 마스터리라는 프로그램이었어요.
아무 계획도 없이 일어나서 불꽃놀이도 하고, 미친 듯이 재밌는 일도 하고
재밌는 것들을요.
그러다 마지막에 멈췄고, 제가 말하려고 했던 계획이 있었는데, 제가 하려고 했던 말을
말하지 않았어요.
그러다 갑자기 사람들이 죽음을 마주했을 때 언제부터 진짜로 살기 시작할까?
그리고 이 섬을 떠날 거라면 지금부터 9일 후에
지금부터 9일 후에 죽는다면 누구에게 전화하고, 뭐라고 말하고, 어떻게 할 건가요?
한 여성이 그날 밤 911에 신고했어요.
한 여자가 세미나에 왔는데 전 남자친구가
납치되어 살해당했어요.
그녀의 친구, 즉 새 남자친구가 그녀와 결혼하고 싶다고 했지만 그녀는 거절했죠.
그는 당신이 떠나서 하와이로 가면 그녀와 끝이라고 말했습니다.
그녀는 끝났다고 했어요.
그날 밤 일이 끝나고 그녀가 전화를 걸어서 그가 일하던 세계무역센터 꼭대기에
그가 일하던 세계무역센터 꼭대기에 메시지를 남겼어요 자기야, 사랑해, 그냥 알아줬으면 해
당신과 결혼하고 싶다는 걸 알아줬으면 좋겠어 내가 어리석었어
아내는 자고 있었는데 그가 꼭대기에서 전화를 걸어서
여보, 이게 무슨 뜻인지 모르겠다고 했어요
이걸 어떻게 말해야 할지 모르겠지만 당신은 내게 가장 큰 선물을 줬어요.
난 죽을 거니까
그리고는 방에서 녹음한 걸 틀어주셨어요.
나중에 래리 킹 쇼에 출연해서 어떻게 이런 일이 두 번이나 일어날 수 있냐고 물었죠
어떻게 이런 일이 두 번이나 일어날 수 있는지 궁금할 거라고 하더군요
여보, 이제부터 매일, 모든 것을 주고, 사랑하고, 그 어떤 것도 당신을 막지 못하게
아무것도 널 막지마.
그녀가 말을 마치자 한 남자가 일어나서 말하더군요 전 파키스탄에서 왔고 무슬림이에요
손을 잡고 미안하다고 말하고 싶지만 솔직히 이건 보복입니다.
시간이 없어서 나머지는 말씀드릴 수 없습니다.
10초만요, 정중하게 말씀드리고 싶어요 10초만요, 제가 이 남자를 뉴욕에서 온 남자와 함께
세계무역센터에서 일했던 뉴욕 출신 남자를 무대에 올렸습니다.
200명의 뉴욕 시민이 있었거든요.
50명 이상이 회사와 친구를 모두 잃고 손바닥에 표시를 남겼습니다,
한 금융 트레이더는 도둑질을 하고 울부짖으며 30명의 친구를 잃었고 모두 죽었습니다.
제가 사람들에게 한 말은 우리가 무엇에 집중할 것인가?
이게 무슨 뜻이고 어떻게 해야 할까요?
그리고 저는 그룹을 이끌고 사람들에게 집중하도록했습니다. 오늘 누군가를 잃지 않았다면 집중할 수 있습니다.
다른 사람을 위해 봉사하는 방법에 집중하도록 했습니다.
사람들이 있었는데, 첫째, 우리가 그들을 잡았어요. 그녀는 너무 화가 나서 소리를 지르고 소리를 질렀어요,
뉴욕 출신도 아니고 미국인도 아니고 여기 아는 사람도 없는 줄 알았죠
여기
저는 항상 화를 내시잖아요라고 했더니 맞다고 하더군요.
유죄인 사람은 유죄를, 슬픈 사람은 슬픔을, 그리고 저는 이 두 사람을 데리고 제가 말하는
간접 협상을 했어요
점령지에 가족이 있는 유대인 남성, 뉴욕에서 일하지 않았다면 죽었을 뉴욕 주민, 그리고
그리고 테러리스트가 되고 싶다는 의사를 분명히 밝힌 한 남자가 있었죠.
그리고 그 통합 과정은 영화에 담겨 있는데, 기꺼이 보내드리겠습니다.
제가 말로만 표현한 걸 실제로 보실 수 있지만 두 사람은
함께 모여서 세상에 대한 신념과 모델을 바꿨을 뿐만 아니라 함께 일해서
거의 4 년 동안 다양한 모스크와 회당에 어떻게 평화를 만드는지에 대한 아이디어를
평화를 만드는 방법.
그리고 그는 <나의 지하드, 평화의 길>이라는 책을 써서 변화를 일으킬 수 있도록 했습니다.
그래서 저는 이것을 사용하여 여러분의 웹, 여기있는 웹, 욕구, 신념을 탐색하도록 초대합니다,
두 가지 이유로 당신을 지배하고 있는 감정들을요.
여러분은 더 많이 기부할 수 있고, 비용도 저렴하고, 우리 모두 기부하고 싶지만, 기부하라는 뜻입니다,
그게 당신을 채울 것이기 때문입니다. 그리고 두 번째로, 당신은 감사 할 수 있습니다.
이해, 그것은 지적이고, 그것은 내 것이지만 다른 사람들을 움직이는 것에 감사하십시오.
그래야만 세상이 바뀔 수 있습니다.
신의 축복이 있기를 바라며, 감사합니다.
정말 고마워요
이제 우리한테 작별인사를 해야 돼요
정말 고마워요 고마워요

 

 

SMALL

[ English Summary ]

We all have brilliant brains, and we can use them to make anything happen. But sometimes we act on our emotions rather than our best interests, and to overcome this, we need to make connections that we understand and appreciate. Two ways to understand and connect with others are master lessons: the science of achievement and the art of contributing and fulfillment.

The science of achievement is about following easily understood rules, while the art of contribution and fulfillment is about gratitude and contribution. It's important that we stop thinking about our past and start believing in the power of our decisions. This makes it easier to achieve what you want to accomplish in life. I hope you're thinking about what you want to accomplish in your life, valuing gratitude and contribution, and believing in the power of decisions to make your life more fulfilling.

When you or your partner fail to achieve your goals, it's common to cite a lack of resources as the reason. However, a lack of resources is not the most important thing; rather, it's often our emotions that hold us back. If we have the right emotions, we can do anything. If we have creativity and determination, we can find a way even if we don't have money. This is the final resource, but most people say they don't achieve their goals because of a lack of resources. However, we control our destiny with three decisions. These decisions determine our resources, so we need to make the right decisions to live resourcefully and achieve our goals.

In order for us to make the right decisions, we need to know what is already being affected, which consists of our targets, our belief system, and our fuel. We have six human needs and these are related to security, uncertainty, love and belonging, significance, growth and contribution, and change. Therefore, it is important that we find things that fulfill these needs, and ways to fulfill these needs include control, skill development, and sacrifice.

We need change and surprise, and change and surprise make us feel important. We also need connection and love. I want you to remember the importance of loving and being connected to each other. 

I'm going to talk about six needs, four of which are character needs and two of which are spiritual needs. The character needs are recognizing who you are as an individual and finding ways to deal with it. The spiritual needs are growth and contribution. To fulfill these needs, we need to grow and put something of value out there. We also need to contribute to those around us.

I hope this will inspire you to reflect on your own life and attitudes, and at the same time work with others to make the world a better place.

[ English Full Text ]

First of all, I want to just thank you all for the privilege to be here, not only hopefully
to serve you for a few minutes here, but also to attend.
I have some friends that have gone to Ted in the past and I've been thinking about coming
and I was on the edge and then I got invited and I said, I want to come.
So I've attended about two thirds of this and I've gotten an enormous amount, not only
from the speakers, but from so many people that I've met.
I don't think in all the places I've spoken or been around and I've been privileged to
be in a lot of great places, as I'm sure you have, I've ever seen such a concentration
of both talent, brains, but also passion and a common value.
There's a community here about contribution and it's really beautiful.
So I thank you.
I'll be back as a participant myself on an ongoing basis and I thank everybody for the
participation as well.
Thank you.
I have to tell you, I'm both challenged and excited.
My excitement is I get a chance to give something back.
My challenge is the shortest seminar I usually do is 50 hours.
I'm not exaggerating.
I do weekends and what I do, I do even more than that, obviously, coach people, but I'm
into immersion because how'd you learn language?
You didn't learn it by just learning principles.
You got in it and you did it so often that it became real and my stuff isn't pre-programmed.
Something happens in the room.
I ask a question.
I play off what's going there and 17 minutes, that's not going to happen.
I know we're going to put the principles across and I'm beyond respectful to the format and
I've gotten great value from it, although Lisa Randall I felt very tough for how to explain
the Einstein's theories in 18 minutes.
To make sure that you're served though, because I really came here to serve, is I put some
tapes in your box but I want you to know that if you want to use net time, I call it no
extra time to learn some of these things and use them at a deeper level, if you call my
office and you're from TED, you're on the list, you can get any product I have.
There's no charge for it.
If you're in a kind of seminar, I'd love to have you as my guest as well for something
more depth.
So my gift to you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
So the race begins.
I've probably put a lot in here because I really want to try and serve you and I hope
it doesn't just sound like philosophy since we can't do the interaction at the same level,
although I hope you'll participate with me a bit.
The bottom line of why I'm here is that I'm really in a position, I'm not here to motivate
you obviously.
You don't need that.
And a lot of times that's what people think I do and it's the furthest thing from it.
What happens though is people say to me, well, I don't need any motivation and I say, well,
that's interesting.
That's not what I do.
I'm the why guy.
I don't know why you do what you do.
What is your motive for action?
What is it that drives you in your life today?
Not 10 years ago, or are you running the same pattern?
Because I believe that the invisible force of internal drive activated is the most important
thing in the world.
I'm here because I believe emotion is the force of life.
All of us here have great minds.
Most of us here have great minds.
I don't know if I'm in the category, but we all know how to think and with our minds
we can rationalize anything, we can make anything happen.
We can, I agree with what was described a few days ago, but this idea that people work
in their self-interest.
But we all know that you don't work in your self-interest all the time.
Because when emotion comes into it, the wiring changes in the way it functions.
And so it's wonderful for us to think intellectually about how the life of the world is, and especially
those who are very smart.
We can play this game in our head, but I really want to know what's driving you and what I
like to maybe invite you to do by the end of this talk is explore where you are today
for two reasons.
One, so that you can contribute more.
And two, so that hopefully we can not just understand other people more, but maybe appreciate
them more and create the kinds of connections that can stop some of the challenges that
we face in our society today.
They're only going to get magnified by the very technology that's connecting us.
Because it's making us intersect.
And that intersection doesn't always create the view of everybody now understands everybody
and everybody appreciates everybody.
So I've had an obsession basically for 30 years.
And that obsession has been what makes the difference in the quality of people's lives.
What makes a difference in their performance, because that's what I got hired to do.
I got to produce the result now.
That's what I've done for 30 years.
I get the phone call when the athlete is burning down on national television and they were
ahead by five strokes and now they can't get back on the course.
And I got to do something right now to get the result and nothing matters.
I get the phone call when the child is going to commit suicide and I got to do something
right now.
And in 29 years, I'm very grateful to tell you I've never lost one in 29 years.
It doesn't mean I won't someday, but I haven't done it.
And the reason is an understanding of these human needs I want to talk to you about.
So when I get those calls about performance, that's one thing like how do you make a change?
But also, I'm looking to see what is it that's shaping that person's ability to contribute,
to do something beyond themselves.
So maybe the real question is, you know, I look at life and say there's two master
lessons.
One is there's the science of achievement, which almost every in this room is mastered
to an amazing extent.
That's how do you take the invisible and make it visible, right?
How do you take what you dream about and make it happen, whether it be your business, your
contribution society, money, whatever it is for you, your body, your family.
But the other lesson of life that is rarely mastered is the art of fulfillment.
Because science is easy, right?
We know the rules.
You write the code.
You follow those.
And you get the result.
Once you know the game, you just, you know, you up the ante, don't you?
But when it comes to fulfillment, that's an art.
And the reason is it's about appreciation and it's about contribution.
You can only feel so much by yourself.
So I've had an interesting laboratory try to answer the question of the real question,
which is what's the difference in somebody's life if you look at somebody like those people
that you've given everything to?
Like all the resources they say they need.
You gave them not a hundred dollar computer, you gave them a best computer.
You gave them love.
You gave them joy.
You were there to comfort them.
And those people very often, and you know some of them, I'm sure, end up the rest of
their life with all this love, education, money, and background, spending their life
going in and out of rehab.
And then you meet people that have been through ultimate pain, psychologically, sexually,
spiritually, emotionally abused, and not always, but often they become some of the
people that contribute the most to society.
So the question we've got to ask ourselves really is, what is it?
What is it that shapes us?
And we live in a therapy culture.
Most of us don't do that, but the culture is a therapy culture and what I mean by that
is the mindset that we are our past.
And everybody in this room, you wouldn't be in this room if you bought that theory, but
the most of society thinks biography is destiny.
The past equals the future.
And of course it does if you live there.
But what people in this room know, and what we have to remind ourselves though, because
you can know something intellectually.
You can know what to do and then not use it, not apply it.
So really what we've got to remind ourselves is decision is the ultimate power.
That's what it really is.
Now when you ask people, have you failed to achieve something?
How many have ever failed to achieve something significant in your life?
Say aye.
Thanks for the interaction on a high level there.
But if you ask people, why didn't you achieve something?
Somebody who's working for you, or a partner, or even yourself, when you fail to achieve
a goal, what's the reason people say they failed to achieve?
What do they tell you?
Tell me.
Come on out loud.
I didn't know enough, didn't have the knowledge, didn't have the money, didn't have the time,
didn't have the technology, I didn't have the right manager, didn't have the Supreme
Court.
And what are all those including the Supreme Court have in common?
They are acclaimed to you missing resources, and they may be accurate.
You may not have the money, you may not have the Supreme Court, but that is not the defining
factor.
And you correct me if I'm wrong.
The defining factor is never resources, it's resourcefulness, and what I mean specifically
rather than just some phrase is if you have emotion, human emotion, something that I experienced
from you, day before yesterday at a level that is as profound as I've ever experienced
and if you communicated with that emotion, I believe you wouldn't have won.
But how easy for me to tell him what he should do, idiot, Robbins, but I know when we watched
a debate, when we watched the debate at that time, there were emotions that blocked people's
ability to get this man's intellect and capacity and the way they came across to some people
in that day.
Because I know people that wanted to vote in your direction and didn't, and I was upset.
But there was emotion that was there.
How many of you know what I'm talking about here, say aye.
So emotion is in, and if we get the right emotion, we can get ourselves to do anything,
we can get through it.
If you're creative enough, playful enough, fun enough, can you get through to anybody
yes or no?
If you don't have the money but you're creative and determined enough, you find the way.
So this is the ultimate resource, but this is not the story that people tell us.
The story people tell us is a bunch of different stories.
They tell us we don't have the resources, but ultimately, if you take a look here, flip
it up if you would, they say, what are all the reasons they haven't come?
We've said that.
Next one, please.
He's broken my pattern.
But I appreciated the energy, I'll tell you that.
What determines your resource is we've said decision-shaped destiny, which is my focus
here.
Decision-shaped destiny, what determines it is three decisions.
What are you going to focus on?
Right now, you have to decide what you're going to focus on.
In this second, consciously or unconsciously, the minute you decide to focus on something,
you've got to give it a meaning.
And whatever that meaning is, produces emotion.
Is this the end or the beginning?
Is God punishing me or rewarding me, or is this the role of the dice?
An emotion then creates what we're going to do or the action.
So think about your own life, the decisions that have shaped your destiny, and that sounds
really heavy, but in the last five or 10 years, 15 years, have there been some decisions you've
made that if you made a different decision, your life would be completely different?
How many could think of one?
Honestly, better or worse?
Say, aye.
So the bottom line is maybe it was where to go to work, and you met the love of your
life there.
Maybe it was a career decision.
I know the Google geniuses I saw here.
I mean, I understand that their decision was to sell their technology at first.
What if they made that decision versus to build their own culture?
How would the world be different?
How would their lives be different?
Their impact.
The history of our world is these decisions.
When a woman stands up and says, no, I won't go to the back of the bus, she didn't just
affect her life.
That decision shaped our culture, or someone standing in front of a tank, or being in a
position like Lance Armstrong and someone says to you, you got testicular cancer.
That's pretty tough for any male, especially if you ride a bike.
You got it in your brain, you got it in your lungs, but what was his decision and what
to focus on?
Different than most people.
What did it mean?
It wasn't the end.
It was the beginning.
What are you going to do?
You have seven championships he never wants once before the cancer because he got emotional
fitness, psychological strength.
That's the difference in human beings that I've seen of the 3 million I've been around
because that's about my lab.
I've had 3 million people from 80 different countries that I've had a chance to interact
with over the last 29 years.
After a while, patterns become obvious.
You see that South America and Africa may be connected in a certain way, right?
Other people say, oh, that sounds ridiculous.
It's simple.
What shape Lance, what shapes you?
Two invisible forces.
Very quickly, one state.
We all have had times.
If you had a time you did something and after you did it, you thought to yourself, I can't
believe I said that.
I can't believe I did that.
It was so stupid.
Who's been there?
Say I.
Have you ever done something after you do it?
You go, that was me, right?
It wasn't your ability.
It was your state.
I should be able to change that quickly, but what I want to finish with quickly here is
your model of the world is what shapes you long term.
Your model of the world is the filter.
That's what's shaping us.
That's what makes people make decisions.
We want to influence somebody.
We got to know what already influences them.
And it's made up of three parts, I believe.
First, what's your target?
What are you after?
Which I believe it's not your desires.
You can get your desires to goals.
How many of you got a goal or desire and thought, is this all there is?
How many of you been there?
Say I.
So it's needs we have.
I believe there are six human needs.
Second, once you know what the target that's driving you is and you uncover it for the
truth, you don't form it.
You uncover it.
Then you find out what's your map.
What's the belief systems that are telling you how to get those needs?
Some people think the way to get those needs is destroy the world.
Some people is to build something.
Create something.
Love someone.
And then there's the fuel you pick.
So very quickly, six needs.
Let me tell you what they are.
First one, certainty.
Now, these are not goals or desires.
These are universal.
Everyone needs certainty that they can avoid pain, at least be comfortable.
Now, how do you get it?
Control everybody.
Develop a skill.
Give up.
Smoke a cigarette.
And if you got totally certain, ironically, even though we all need that, like you're
not certain about your health or your children or money, you don't think about much.
So you're not sure the ceiling's going to hold up, you're going to listen to any speaker.
But while we go for certainty differently, if we get total certainty, we get what?
What do you feel if you're certain?
You know, what's going to happen?
When it's going to happen?
How it's going to happen?
What would you feel?
Bored out of your mind.
So God, in her infinite wisdom, gave us a second human need, which is uncertainty.
We need variety.
We need surprise.
How many of you here love surprises?
Say, I.
You like the surprises you want.
The ones you don't want, you call problems, but you need them.
So variety is important.
Have you ever rented a video or a film that you've already seen?
Who's done this?
Why are you doing it?
You're certain it's good because you read it before, saw it before, but you're hoping
it's been long enough, you've forgotten if there's variety.
Third human need, critical, significance.
We all need to feel important, special, unique.
You can get it by making more money.
You can do it by being more spiritual.
You can do it by getting yourself in a situation where you put more tattoos and earrings in
places humans don't want to know.
Whatever it takes, the fastest way to do this, if you have no background, no culture, no
belief in resources or resourcefulness, is violence.
If I put a gun to your head and I live in the hood, instantly I'm significant, zero
to ten, how I, ten.
How certain am I and you're going to respond to me, ten?
How much uncertainty?
Who knows what's going to happen next?
Kind of exciting.
Like climbing up into a cave and doing that stuff all the way down there, total variety
and uncertainty.
And it's significant, isn't it?
So you're willing to risk your life for it.
So that's why violence has always been around and will be around us.
We have a consciousness change as a species.
Now you can get significance a million ways, but to be significant you've got to be unique
and different.
Here's what we really need.
Connection and love.
Fourth need.
We all want it.
Most people settle for connection because love's too scary.
Don't want to get hurt.
Who here has ever been hurt in an intimate relationship?
Say I.
And you're going to get hurt again, aren't you glad you came to this positive visit?
But here's what's true.
We need it.
We can do it through intimacy, through friendship, through prayer, through walking in nature.
If nothing else works for you, get a dog.
Don't get a cat, get a dog.
Because if you leave for two minutes, it's like you've been gone for six months when
you should have back up again five minutes later, right?
Now these first four needs every human finds a way to meet.
Even if you lie to yourself, you need to split personalities.
But the last two needs, the first four needs are called the needs of the personality, is
what I call it.
The last two are the needs of the spirit.
And this is where fulfillment comes.
You won't get fulfillment from the first four.
You'll figure a way, smoke, drink, do whatever, meet the first four.
But the last two, number five, you must grow.
We all know the answer here.
If you don't grow, you what?
If a relationship's not growing, if a business is not growing, if you're not growing, you
don't grow.
It doesn't matter how much money you have, how many friends you have, how many people
love you, you feel like hell.
And the reason we grow, I believe, is so we have something to give of value.
Because the sixth need is to contribute beyond ourselves.
Because we all know, corny as it sounds, the secret of living is giving.
We all know life's not about me, it's about we.
This culture knows that.
This room knows that.
And it's exciting.
When you see Nicholas up here talking about his $100 computer, the most passionate, exciting
thing is, here's a genius, but he's got a calling now.
You can feel the difference in him, and it's beautiful.
Backhauling can touch other people in my own life.
My life was touched because when I was 11 years old, Thanksgiving, no money, no food,
and we're not going to starve, but my father was totally messed up.
My mom was letting him know how bad he messed up.
And somebody came to the door and delivered food.
My father made three decisions.
I know what they were briefly.
His focus was, this is charity.
What does it mean?
I'm worthless.
What do I got to do?
Leave my family, which he did.
The time when the most painful experience is a life.
My three decisions gave me a different path.
I said, focus on, there's food with a concept, second, but this is what changed my life.
This is what shaped me as a human being.
Somebody's gift.
I don't even know who it is.
They're not asking for this, giving our family food, looking out for us.
It made me believe this.
What does it mean that strangers care?
And what that made me decide is, strangers care about me and my family.
I care about them.
What am I going to do?
I'm going to do something to make a difference.
So when I was 17, I went out one day in Thanksgiving, it was my target for years.
Having enough money to feed two families.
The most fun thing I've ever done in my life, the most moving.
Then next year I did four.
I didn't tell anybody what I was doing.
Next year, eight.
I wasn't doing it for brownie points, but after eight, I thought I could use some help.
So sure enough, I went out and what did I do?
I got my friends involved and I grew companies and I got 11 companies and I built the foundation.
Now 18 years later, I'm proud to tell you, last year we fed 2 million people in 35 countries
through our foundation, all during the holidays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and all the different
countries around the world.
It's been fantastic.
Thank you.
So I don't tell you that to brag, I tell you because I'm proud of human beings because
they get excited to contribute once they've had the chance to experience it and not talk
about it.
So finally, I'm about out of time, the target that shapes you, here's what's different
about people.
We have the same needs, but are you a certainty freak?
Is that what you value most or uncertainty?
This man here couldn't be a certainty freak if he climbed those through those capes.
Are you driven by significance or love?
We all need all six, but whatever your lead system is, tilts you in a different direction.
And as you move in a direction, you have a destination or destiny.
The second piece is the map.
Think of that as the operating system tells you how to get there and some people's map
is, I'm going to save lives even if I die for other people and they're a fireman, somebody
else says, I'm going to kill people to do it.
They're trying to meet the same needs of significance, right?
They want to honor God or honor their family, but they have a different map.
And there are seven different beliefs that can't go through them because I'm done.
The last piece is emotion.
I say one of the parts of the map is like time.
Some people's idea of a long time is 100 years.
Somebody else says is three seconds, which is what I have.
And the last one I've already mentioned that felt you.
If you got a target and you got a map and let's say, I can't use Google because I love
Macs and they haven't made it good for Mac yet.
So if you use MapQuest, how many of you have made this fatal mistake of using MapQuest
at some time?
You use this thing and you don't get there.
Well, imagine if your beliefs guarantee you can never get to where you want to go.
Last thing is emotion.
Now, here's what I'll tell you about emotion.
There are 6,000 emotions that we all have words for in the English language, which is
just a linguistic representation, right?
It changes by language.
But if you're dominant emotions, if I have more time, I have 20,000 people or 1,000.
And I have them write down all the emotions that they experience in an average week.
And I give them as long as they need.
And on one side they're empowering emotions, the other's disempowering.
Guess how many emotions people experience?
Less than 12.
And half of those make them feel like.
So they got five or six good frickin' feelings, right?
It's like they feel happy, happy, excited, frustrated, frustrated, overwhelmed, depressed.
How many of you know somebody who, no matter what happens, finds a way to get pissed off?
How many know somebody like this?
Or no matter what happens, no matter what happens, they find a way to be happy or excited.
How many know somebody like this?
Come on.
When 911 happened, and I'll finish with this, I was in Hawaii.
I was with 2,000 people from 45 countries, we were translating four languages simultaneously
for a program that I was conducting for a week.
The night before was called Emotional Mastery.
I got up, had no plan for this, and I said, we had all those fireworks, I do crazy fun
stuff.
And then at the end I stopped, I had this plan I was gonna say, but I never do what
I'm gonna say.
And all of a sudden I said, when do people really start to live when they face death?
And then with this whole thing about, if you were gonna get off this island, if nine days
from now you were gonna die, who would you call, what would you say, what would you do?
One woman, well that night is when 911 happened.
One woman had come to the seminar, and when she came there, her previous boyfriend had
been kidnapped and murdered.
Her friend, or new boyfriend, wanted to marry her, and she said no.
He said, if you leave and go to that Hawaii thing, it's over with her.
She said, it's over.
When I finished that night, she called him and left a message, true story, at the top
of the World Trade Center where he worked, saying, honey, I love you, I just want you
to know, I want to marry you, it was stupid of me.
She was asleep, because it was 3 a.m. for us when he called her back from the top and
said, honey, I can't tell you what this means.
He said, I don't know how to tell you this, but you give me the greatest gift, because
I'm gonna die.
And she played the recording for us in the room.
She was on Larry King later, and he said, you're probably wondering how on earth this
could happen to you twice, and he said, all I can say to you is, this must be God's message
to you, honey, from now on, every day, give you all, love you all, don't let anything
ever stop you.
She finishes, and a man stands up and he says, I'm from Pakistan, I'm a Muslim, I'd love
to hold your hand, and say I'm sorry, but frankly, this is retribution.
I can't tell you the rest, because I'm out of time.
10 seconds, I want to be respectful, 10 seconds, all I can tell you is, I brought this man
on stage with a man from New York who worked in the World Trade Center, because I had about
200 New Yorkers there.
More than 50 lost their entire companies, their friends, marking off their palm pilots,
one financial trader, this woman made a steal, bawling, 30 friends crossing off, it all died.
And what I did to people is I said, what are we gonna focus on?
What does this mean, and what are we gonna do?
And I took the group and got people to focus on, if you didn't lose somebody today, your
focus could be how to serve somebody else.
There were people, number one, we got them, she was so angry and screaming and yelling,
they thought she wasn't from New York, she's not an American, she doesn't know anybody
here.
I said, you always get angry, she said yes.
Guilty people got guilty, sad people got sad, and I took these two men and did what I call
an indirect negotiation.
Jewish man with family in the occupied territory, some New York who would have died if he wasn't
worked that day, and this man who wanted to be a terrorist and made it very clear.
And the integration that happened is on a film, which I'll be happy to send you, so
you can really see what actually happens to my verbalization of it, but the two of them
not only came together and changed their beliefs and models of the world, but they worked together
to bring for almost four years now to various mosques and synagogues, the idea of how to
create peace.
And he wrote a book, which is called My Jihad, My Way of Peace, so transformation can happen.
So my invitation to use this, explore your web, the web in here, the needs, the beliefs,
the emotions that are controlling you, for two reasons.
So there's more of you to give, they're cheap too, we all wanna do it, but I mean give,
because that's what's gonna fill you out, and secondly, so you can appreciate, not just
understand, that's intellectual, that's mine, but appreciate what's driving other people.
It's the only way our world's gonna change.
God bless you, thank you, I hope this will serve.
Thank you so much.
You've got to just, you've got to just say goodbye to us.
Thank you very much. Thank you.